What’s your passion?

I watched the ‘Million Dollar Baby’ yesterday. For the zillionth time. Every time I watch it, I feel Maggie Fitzgerald’s passion so strongly. She’s a raging bull, more in the head than in the body; her interminable struggle and intensity concealed in her reclusive calmness. She’s the one you’ll pass a hundred times on the street and probably never notice - not her, not her struggle, not her pain, not her passion, nothing; we don’t have time for the below best; how can we spare for the inconspicuous and mundane? An inferno grabs attention, not incinerating garbage.

As I watch the screen, with each punch she delivers, not to the crunching jaw or a rupturing cartilage of an opponent, not even to a punching bag but to the oppression of circumstances, I see a tiny fighter dancing in her footwork trance against a twin headed Goliath called destiny and life, not giving up, not giving in but just growing and growing and growing with her tired beautiful smile.

And for the first time, I wonder; why boxing of all things? Sounds unlikely and a bit unrealistic for a downtown waitress, doesn’t it? What got her to it in the first place? Was it just a survival instinct to fight back; well she had enough reasons and opportunities to do so. Fight, fight, fight. Destroy, break, suffer, die, win! Did the monster of revenge whisper this every single day in her innocent and naïve ears?

No matter how many times you pull a web down, a spider relentlessly constructs it again, painstakingly or otherwise. Is web building its passion then? And does it enjoy it; can it survive without doing it? Your guess is as good as mine. We, robotically wake up every single day and go about doing our chores, going to office, earning money, eating, sleeping and repeating. These acts of necessity, are they shards of passion? I hope not.

What defines passion then? Do we find it or does it find us? Can passion capriciously change from one thing to another; does our ability to be successful at it or not explain it? How does one identify it? Does it just strike us one fine day, like love and lightning? Is it something that we’ve loved for a very long time? Are the reasons for loving it selfless; do the reasons matter? Is it something that we’re good at? Is it self-driven or imposed?  Or have we just trained our mind like the thousand other things to tell us that this is it?

I think the answer lies in how truthful and honest we are to our feelings when we do things. There are very few times when we are really ourselves, and not what the situation wants us to be. We just replace masks, one after another as we move through the proceeds of life; abandoning passion among other things in the crowded alleys routine.

To me passion is something that invigorates you from within. Other factors and others become inconspicuous when you are at it. It is one of the few things you enjoy and do even when no-one notices or is interested; it’s unpretentious. Learning, falling, being broken and disappointment are inevitable, yet you nurture it. It will entice you into that meditative trance difficult to break free from; it’s important to feel that connection.

Unconditional love couldn’t find a better example. This love, if real, is one of the purest and interminable forms. The world, its disparaging taunts fade, as obdurately you refuse to budge and give in. It makes you feel good about yourself. It’ll test you though, rest assured, time and again, relentlessly and demand nothing less than all you’ve got. And the rest depends on how much you are ready to give to it.

That faint touch of the extended chest at the finish line, the completion of the last piece of the quartet, that final punch that brings your opponent down to his knees; the satisfaction cannot be recorded – it is not the last, it never will be the last. It goes on and even when one is incapable later in life, it stays in the mind till the last breath.

Pink Floyd were passionate about their music; they didn’t create music for the world.  They believed in what they were doing and just created lasting melodies that have made them so beautiful, unique and enchanting.

Passion - you can’t physically embrace it, it can’t smile back but the pleasure it can give is like a mental orgasm.

So what’s your passion?




Picture courtesy

© Million Dollar Baby image - https://www.altfg.com/film/million-dollar-baby/

© Pink Floyd image - https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Pink_Floyd_(1971).png

© Runner image -https://www.boston.com/news/boston-marathon/2019/04/15/boston-marathon-2019-photos